Monday, July 21, 2008

Sad poetry

My days are stolen, every day.
Time is taking them away.
The sun rises, crosses, sets
Why hasn’t someone stopped this yet

My daughter sees me every morn’
I leave her, crying, distraught, forlorn
She calls my name, begging, please
I have to work. I have to leave.

Seems just weeks ago, she was a year.
Now she’s two, and soon, I fear,
She’ll be going off to school with glee
Growing up… and without me.

I want to stay. Don’t want to go.
Baby girl, oh, don’t you know?
I want to hold you in my arms.
I want to hug you, make you calm

If money is an evil root
This is proof it’s true.
Because I need money to pay the bills
But, baby, it’s cost me you.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Daycare Update

Oh, and btw, Blue Eyes is no longer screeching, crying, reaching her arms out to me with plaintive wails when we drop her off. She goes up the steps, turns around and waves, "Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!" And she tells her Miss, "Wuvva" (I love you) when she leaves.


*Lead me not unto temptation*
Yeah... I was raised in a religious family, what can I say?

I was sorely tempted to get really pissed at whoever decided to eat or steal or dump my lunch for today. I really would rather eat the leftover Greek salad and leftover Kung Pao chicken instead of the greasy bagel with onion and tomato. I mean, I even left olives in the salad so I could have some more today! I'm trying to think charitably that maybe someone accidentally spilled them on the floor since they were in the front of the work fridge. I was taking deep breaths, debating on storming around the office and writing a passive agressive note to "whom it may concern" when I noticed my coworker's daughter -- 5 years old and quietly coloring in the break room. She was drawing "the part where Speed hits the ninja". She then told me to prepare for another stunning adventure of Speed Racer! And then she hummed the song to herself.

Now how can I be angry after that? (Dang greasy bagel and all.)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

It's not a death in the family

But it feels like one.

My little girl is gone... all day.
I won't ever see her again... until 5:30.

This is the first time in her life that I have gone to work and not had her here. And it will be like this every day now. There's no hearing her laugh, cry, shriek her friends names down the hall. There won't be any more days (for her, or any of her brothers or sisters to come) where I can work, then walk down and nurse her to sleep and then head back to work. Yeah, I'll have my lunch hour free now. I'll probably work straight through it like I used to.

She's not even two. I don't know what I would have done if I had to start this when she was 3 months old. I so need a work at home type job, or gasp, a way to make money where I don't have to work all the time.

I miss my little girl.

*I've had in-office daycare for the past year and a half and it just got canceled. So, she's off to daycare like millions of other children across the country.*